Thursday, June 8, 2017

Renungan Singkat

Sebenernya gue mah apa, bilang kayak gini. Jadi muslimah seutuhnya aja belum. Islam gue belum kaffah. Iman gue masih sering turun, naiknya jarang, padahal levelnya aja udah di bawah banget. But one day this-everyday-saying really hit me.


"After Allah gave 24hours chances for you taking breath, doing so much things you can do, how many hours spent just to remember Him?"

Kayanya kita mah udah sibuk banget sama yang lain-lain, sampai 24 jam aja sering terasa kurang cukup buat ngelakuin kerjaan kita. Dulu gue pernah baca cerita dari seorang muslim Indonesia yang kerja di Arab Saudi. Dalam cerita itu masyarakat disana kok ya kebanyakan masuk kantornya siang banget, bahkan lewat dari jam masuk kantor. Sangat berbeda dengan di Jakarta yang berangkatnya aja dari subuh. Tapi ada yang menarik kalau adzan udah berkumandang. Mereka gesit banget. Bahkan kalau bisa sebelum adzan pun mereka udah keluar kantor buat ke masjid. Wew. Awal gue baca cerita ini, jujur aja gue gasuka. Bener sih seperti zaman Rasulullah juga setiap pasar bahkan ditutup kalau adzan udah berkumandang. Tapi cuy, bukannya kerja keras itu salah satu bentuk ibadah juga ya? Bukannya disiplin itu sifat dari Islam juga?

Nah, akhirnya jawaban itu baru-baru aja di Ramadhan ini gue dapatkan. Bahkan gue melakukannya juga. Bahwa kerjaan kita sebenernya di dunia ya cuma buat ibadah aja sama Allah. Gak lain. Semakin sibuk kita, justru semakin kita ngedeketin Allah. Dekat sama Allah bukan hanya sekedar ibadah yang banyak. Dzikir ke Allah gak cuma baca puji-pujian dan shalawatan aja.

Gue saat ini sedang masa mengerjakan tugas akhir kuliah. Kalau boleh blak-blakan progress gue tuh lemot banget. Ketika h-3 deadline yang seharusnya progress sudah 75%, gue bahkan belum menyentuh sampai 20%. Sepanjang hari kemarin gue cuma procrastinating sama hal-hal yang gak prioritas buat diri gue sendiri. Selama gue menunda ya gue stres sendiri, tapi gak ngerjain-ngerjain juga. Masuk ke Ramadhan ini juga, sama aja. Progress gue tetap lambat. Yang beda hanya satu. Paling engga gue berusaha saat-saat procrastinating itu gue pake buat ngaji atau shalat sunnah. Gue bukan mau pamer ibadah, gak ada yang perlu dipamerin juga karena ibadah gue gak sekeren itu kok. Tapi gue mau pamer bahwa dengan hal yang gue lakuin itu buat gue belajar sadar dan merasa lebih dewasa (well, at least menurut gue). Hal ini sama sekali gak bikin TA gue dengan ajaib selesai. Gak. Tapi hal ini buat gue lebih santai, gue selalu ngerasa bahwa pasti TA gue akan selesai tepat waktu. Tentunya sambil gue memaksa diri buat ngerjain sih.. Hanya, karena gue udah berniat untuk menjadikan Ramadhan ini gak sia-sia dengan kemalasan ibadah gue, jadwal buat ibadah gue lah yang ngeharusin gue mau-gamau ngerjain TA.
"Ayo ih, kerjain sekarang kan nanti mau tarawih." Something like that.

Gak cuma bikin jadwal gue lebih teratur, hal yang gue lakukan ini juga bikin gue dzikir sama Allah gak sebatas bilang "Subhanallah, Alhamdulillah" dan lain-lain. Untuk memuji Allah banyak-banyak mulut gue gak semampu Rasulullah. Gue selalu berusaha dzikr (which is the true meaning of dzikr is "remember") dengan positive thinking sama Allah. Setiap gue stres gue gak sepintar itu merangkai kata dan menyampaikan cerita dengan baik ke orang lain, jadi gue ceritanya ya ke Allah. Ngeluhnya ke Allah. Minta bantuinnya ke Allah. Selain itu, cerita sama Allah gapernah salah karena cerita kita gak akan bocor, nangis sebanyak apapun gak akan dibilang cengeng, ngeluh sebanyak apapun gak akan dimarahin dan dipaksa. Hanya, kita perlu ingat Allah berfirman dalam ayat-Nya (QS 13:11, yak dibuka ya sis al-Quran nya:))

Jadi, at least, 1 dari 12 bulan deh kita jadi lebih rajin inget Dia. Sebenernya kehebatan Allah gak kurang atau jadi lebih karena kita ibadah. Gak ngaruh. Tapi kitanya yang butuh. Gimana mau ditolongin kalau kita gak minta tolong?

Saturday, April 8, 2017

You vs You

Mirror mirror on the wall
Who's the meanest of them all


Standing on the mirror who the evil
The enemy you fight is real


Why oh why, how could this be
Piece to piece in my body
Going harm, getting hurt, having no ending
Each to each worry but no sorry


You may own the body, got brain in perfect
But closed door in heart, sound of it cannot crack
You wary, nervous, shaky, too much clearly
No wonder what is happen, sick and wreck
Scared with rejection, light up your sorrow


Then you become a doll
Hiding behing wall
Age only number, realize now
Still such a kid have no courage at all

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Should we celebrate Happiness Day?

A little encouragement from your lecturer, a simple joke from friends which telling you they care about you, had super comfy worn-out shoes as your companion these years, found out your favorite brush style, wake up in the morning without alarm, finally got a best spot in library, ... ...

Those are little things from little things of my happiness this week. Like how I told you in some posts that I'm kinda introvert person. And in my alone-mode I usually start to think deeper, or I could say wiser (at least I try to :p) I think about how mu future will be cause I still cannot list true dreams and write my vision. I think about how much older I grew and how many achievements I had until this age. I think about my friends and how funny (in a good way) to me about our topic in conversation already changed to next step. I think about how my parents, sisters, brother grew up and grew old. Most of times, think of these things bring me to this conclusion: happiness.

I started going to stress everytime I think about my future. Not because I'm not confidence with myself, but I just really can't draw my dreams, know what I want. But I thank to God for time He gave so I got time to think think and think, to tell myself not being such a rush and enjoy every little progress. Then I remember about everyone in my life. People are being so lovely and care so much about me without asking much from me. Sometimes I think what I gave to them for being such a good person. I never give anything precious. But they constantly showering me love. I can't do anything good for them so I hope my pray enough to pay them back. That's why I thank to God for any little things. I surrounded by good people, good things. What is the reason I could stress or being sad for a long time? What is the reason I ask more for things I can't treat well? What is the reason I want anyone else's life in my beautiful life? What is any reasons??

Really!
I just need to praise some little things and by that, I just can't stop to mention all good things. I am writing this post because I just found out about International Happiness Day. I don't really celebrate as a happy day in one day. Because we (absolutely) can be happy everyday. But sometimes we forget. We forget that happiness is one of human rights, as Jayme Illien said. We forget to take care ourselves. We forget actually we're sad because we don't think more about happiness moment. We're sad because we are unfair to ourselves. We don't try to swim but let ourselves drown at the bottom of pool. 

So today, rather than to celebrate with party or doing any other charity, I just want to do a little thing. Remind myself and all of you,
Let's remember again together that we already had things enough to say "Alhamdulillah".

Sunday, February 26, 2017